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What's this feeling inside my gut?
It's like a warm hand but...
It squeezes too tightly,
And gives words of love too lightly.
I want to tell you I care,
If I do then you'll no longer be there.
But yet you will...
In my thoughts, my dreams, until...
Time no longer counts anymore,
Hands going back-wards it doesn't care I'm on the floor,
Mascara black tears tracks running down my cheeks,
My heart still seeks...
Seeks someone, something,
Anything.
As long as I still live you have this fragile shell,
That'd go through the pits of hell.
Only for you. Only for you.
This feeling is my lifeline now,
Burning and wrapping around...
The fragile parts of me that make no sound.
I want you to feel what I feel,
To not know what it means, not know how to heal.
To be curled as I am underneath a sheet,
Cold yet feeling an unbearable heat.
Slicing and decapitating it's competition,
Till finally it cancels out your intuition.
That part of you that makes all the choices,
That cancels out all the voices.
Then slowly, oh so slowly, those voices crawl into you head,
Like bugs they crawl over you, your sheet, your pillow, your bed.
Screaming as you choke on those bugs flailing and kicking,
Hundreds of them holding you down and little mouths sucking.
And you're in void of black floating,
Floating,
Floating.
Flames lick your skin and you try to swim out of this nightmare.
But there's no where to go but down into the Devil's lair.
Hating yourself for being so dumb,
Wanting fulfillment but not amounting to some.
Slowly you fell your heart, your soul, your entire whole being sucked away,
Wanting only one more chance to say..
"I love you and I wanted to remain true.
I truly am sorry how can I make it up to you?"
The life drains out of you though and leaving the lifeless shell,
This is only an once of hell...
The hell that your words put me through,
But as pathetic as it is...I still feel for you.
If you were to come back I'd open my arms,
Not caring who or what will do harms.
I want to just be your angel one more time,
One more time for I end this rhyme.
I want to here you lie when you say "I'll love you forever."
But I can be yours always and never.
See I am tired and weak,
And I have found what I seek.
I had a few weeks of pure happiness.
And to me that was all I needed to sink into bliss.
For you see...
I lay here in your old tee,
The razor dragged across my wrist bringing back sweet memories.
Memories of a time where you had all the keys.
The keys to my everything so here I am bleeding.
Sweet red wine I have just enough strength to write one last thing.
"I love you but you'll never be mine,
So tell me you love me now, one more time."
Then you wake up and realize,
I'm just a figment, a sad figment...
That wants to be seen as worthy in your eyes.
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